Tuesday, June 20, 2006

The Door Flies Open

Wow! I'm in shock. I did 22 1/2 pages yesterday. Finished chapter 30 and 31 and made progress in 33 and 34 (32 is already done.) But more than that the door opened on the end of the book and I know what is going to happen all the way through and when I saw it it astonished me. This book has not at all been what I thought it would be. And now that I am here, now that I am seeing... all the things that are woven together, I'm just floored. I walked around giggling and exclaiming for about half an hour , alarming the dog with my bizarre behavior, as more and more things fell into place and I saw how Right it all was. How what I had originally thought it was going to be was not right at all, though I don't think I could ever have started out with the concepts because I hadn't yet learned them.

Let me just say one thing... Chesedh is the Hebrew word for mercy, lovingkindness, favor... grace. I had thought originally the story would climax in Kiriath, but it just kept coming back to Chesedh and now that the door has flown open I see it. Of course it has to resolve in ... grace. That's were all victories are won. But I had no idea, no conscious thought of doing this. If anything I kept fighting it.

These are the exciting days. And for all the enjoyment, I remain aware that things may change today or tomorrow. New questions arise, new difficulties, new inconsistencies I've not yet thought of. But that's good, too, because it's the only way the work gets better, deeper, more convincing.